Wow, antes de mi misión, yo pensí que yo fue una persona muy allegre. Pero, en la misión, yo estoy no allegre the majority of the time. [Wow, before my mission, I thought I was a very happy person. But, in the mission, I’m not happy the majority of the time.] It’s depressing to think that I'm not as happy as I thought I was. It's something I will focus on improving in the next months/years/lifetime. This week has been especially trying for me. I have felt like I am lacking the Spirit in my scripture study. Last week was awesome! I love reading [during personal scripture study time] and was sad to have the half-hour be over with. But this week, I haven't been able to feast on the scriptures as easily as before. I have felt a craving for the Spirit and haven't felt an outpouring of it. It's depressing and frustrating to me.

Today I actually felt really good during Book of Mormon study, but then I had an unnerving experience. Let me relate. Elder Stoddard had a knife for some reason only known to the mind of Stoddard. Then he acted like he was going to cut my arm, pressing the dull side against my right arm and against his neck and was swinging it around in the air. It was really weird because I freaked out. I was seriously terrified. It was like some psychological freak out and I just wanted to run, far away, never to return. WEIRD. I think it had something to do with my right arm having been shoved through a window and having seen Psycho 2 in my childhood. It really dampened my spirit, mood, day. I shouldn't have to be influenced by others’ actions, but it was really scary. I teared up a bit, but held it in. After class, Hermano Shadle said “Tendremos una entrevista mañana?” [Can we have an interview tomorrow?] HOW SWEET! The rest of the day was alright.